fragile with the right hand lady.

for once, i saw 2 english songs on the top of the mp chart in the overall section. for once, i'm delighted that someone out there is enjoying my songs more thn the other chinese songs. well, who's john papa? hahaha. if you are in the blog, i'll reveal it to you.

it's me.

put it this way. john('s) papa. haha. me. i'm gonna name my son john whn i have one. humble man in the Lord. well, i do hope that he does not have a broken 5 year relationship though. haha.

i think what my band members should learn is to keep calm and enjoy themselves. every song has a life to live, i guess, and it's up to the members to bring it out. i'm pretty tired of hearing, "oh, i screwed up in the song..." or "shit man, i shouldn't have done that" or even "i'm not in the mood to do it and i think i'll be shitty today". hey man, this is a performance and the song reflects on you. what if one day you perform for some big star as a sessionist for jay chou and thn so happen you are not in the mood or screw up? professionalism, we need to strive for it. even though our technicalities are very shallow, we still have to work on it and put in effort to show it to the crowd. set recovery, knowing how to come back and notice your wrong so as not to bring the set down. practice.

really proud of my band members. gotta work hard and i'm gotta push you guys harder.

jamming fever...

one thing that i really treasure most is jamming. i hope my mates wont hate me. haha. welcome our new drummer! he's ernest fong! hahaha. anyway. i'm sian.

to have it can be a sad thing

ever wondered seeing people up on stage and them playing like demi-gods on their musical instruments? well, can see alot of them really put in alot of hardwork and soul to it, however, there will always be people out there take it for granted. can i not play anything for anyone except for myself? that's pretty self-centered and very much well get shot down by background gossips. well, in this case, NO! i feel like dropping everything. stop playing for anyone but myself. it's very disappointing. if you're new to instruments and thought that knowledge are meant to me share and upon reading this you branded me a "bastard", well, you're too young to understand. nothing is perfect. it's like you taking a cup of water for your friend and your friend just shove it down the drain. HA. NICE? you put your heart and your soul into this and when you want to show it to people, you're shoved aside. it's not about bad comments, harsh criticisms, it's about understanding. you practice and practice till your fingers hurt, your muscle aches, your vocals break, eating into your sleep time, but crap comes. i feel like i'm always in the wrong crowd if i exist in a big one. this makes me hate music.

Is IAP good? or bad? let edmund bring it to points.

just in case you are wondering whether iap is good or bad, i'll bring it down to alittle dots so that you can have a look. of coz, all the points below are imo, in my opinion, so if i ticked you off, stepped on your toe, made you unsatisfied, insulted your favourite supervisor or wat so ever, it's not my fault to start of with, it's your eyes that wanna scan through it.

i'll start of with the bad... since i'm alittle more pessimistic due to alittle skeptism.

BAD things about IAP:
- you need to wake up early every morning and be consistent.
- you need to be sociable, even if you are not one, you have to be one.
- you tick you supervisor off, your supervisor tick your grade off.
- you need to suck up to your boss and do what he tells to you.
- you have a fixed lunch break.
- the supervisor plays you.
- you do extensive miscellaneous tasks like scanning calibration certificates.
- your colleagues may not be friendly.
- hr may black list you if you dun tap out for work.
- pay cuts if late.
- if you get bored, you still have to continue working.
- you don't have time for other activities after work unless you adapt to work life fast.
- you won't get to see as much attractive girls/boys.
- you feel that you're older.

GOOD things about IAP:
- if you're a value for money for education person, you probably learn much more stuff compared to being in school, very much depends on what your supervisor sees in your and gives the tasks that you are going to do.
- pay
- pay
- pay
- you may get some company benefits like free medical consultancy by the company doctor, a ride to work or meal subsidy.
- you feel that you're younger.

i guess that's all, which speaks of why people that went IAP whine more thn being happy. Actually, to be honest, i like IAP! project can kiss my rear, learn sheisser over project.


i'm giving up on her, i don't see anything from her. seems like my efforts are taken for granted and i'm very disappointed. i apologize if you people approached me and i turned you people down, there's always winnie if you wanna learn. i'm giving up, affecting myself too much and spending too much time concerning.

wah lao...

WAH LAO! MY SKIN IS PEELING! AND I'M BALDING! SO MUCH HAIR ON MY WORK DESK! sian... and i'm lovesick.

next week is the last week of the month, meaning, pay cheque is coming! meaning, GOT MONEY AGAIN! also pretty happy that my project structure is ending soon, now what's left are some minor bugs and gets onto my nerves alot. it's the kind of thing you needa edit alittle but the thing is that it takes up alot of time for you to figure out wat to do to it. this sucks man. life is getting better too, even though i'm blacklisted in the hr dept for taking too many research days and they kinda dun like me. this hr lady even diao me man, paul told me. but other thn that, big paul said that i'm pretty good at my work, which is good, i hope. and also hope that's not a lie. maybe i'm just too skeptical huh. or rather adults lie much more thn children? i dunno. keeps me thinking.

kinda got used to waking up super early also kinda sick of it. it's like wat paul depicts as 'no life'. whn you're an executive over there, it's worst. 7.30am report to work, 5pm end work, and most prob you gotta OT, so it's around 6pm you leave. Out of house, no sun. Back home, no sun. become white man sia. mistaken for a caucasian.

i'm way too introverted.. -_-" am i?

i'm not too sure though. i honestly answered all the questions and i'm 95% introverted. i'm a dreamer. OMG! I'M PAUL! paul's a dreamer by nick. i'm a dreamer by identity. only 2 percent of the ppl out there has my personality. how cool is that? i'm damn unique sia. haha.

sian

working is kinda sian. so sian until i dun wanna blog it up. my neck is in a bad shape, so is my right wrist. so sian. very down these days even though work is quite ok. sian.