self-centered

today was quite bad for me. i dunno how to explain man, it's just plainly bad. i felt that i'm neither here nor there, only get along with binny, the band and some closer buddies in scc grp. other thn that, they feel kindof distant to me. like wat sean said, "we are only here for the room and nothing else." well, this will be my last time attending a scc meeting. the most i'll attend is the monthy performance, when i'm needed, and the band jamming sessions.

i was thinking, "so wat is the committee for?" the problems are already identified but there's no changes. well, i guess it's also good coz i get to learn the mistakes that is done. as a proud being myself, i cannot afford to stumble on huge mistakes and not noticing. if i'm going to take up a position of some kind soon in avionics club, i've got to know wat to step on and not. if i don't, criticisms will fly. i felt kind of shit everytime i step into the club house.

and another thing is the church. i think it is for me to reduse. i'm feeling alittle out of place now, with the compulsory stuff to do. i felt kind of stretched and i wondered if adam can make a choice, so can i make one?

bah...