coming new year, new age...

i guess it's kinda weird for a guy to be depressing over his age. i'm turning twenty in the year after today. no more '1' as my 1st digit in age, but a '2'. you can say, "this guy siao one, like that also get depressed." well, yeah, i'm siao.

i didnt manage to catch enough sleep last night. told myself to sleep at 11 with my eyes shutting, however, my mind is freaking awake! of course, the i'm still in the lala state mentioned on the previous post, just that part of the focus is on a new composition. i told myself, "ok, i need to sleep, lets not think about the new song." and her image came up. i was quite irritated with myself and i went, "ok, i need to sleep, lets not think about her, no point thinking, you can't chase it." and new words in japanese came into my mind for new lyrics, and it went on and on. OH MY GOSH! CAN'T I JUST FREAKING NOT THINK ABOUT BOTH OF THEM AND JUST GO TO SLEEP?! from my initial plan of sleeping for 7 hours, it came down to 4. i crawled up from bed after my attempts to sleep and swtiched on the computer. and this cocky drummer started to comment that cassis, from the GazettE, is a lousy song. before my bedtime, i tried to hint him that he's crossing some people, not just the fans of GazettE, but younger and new composers who is studying the song, like me. the song is easy to play, yes, i do agree that it's not difficult to cover the song in a short period. the song is a lousy song, absolutely not. considering the degree of arrangement that has be placed in the song and the songs lasting for more than 5 minutes with double solo from uruha and aoi with proper song dynamics and having an addition of a guitar from ruki, it's not an easy feat to do this kind of arrangement. oh, i forgot, he only started drumming last year august and he's self taught. not that it's not possible to reach at a performance standard at this amount of learning time, but if you read in another posts in either the 'post your gear' or 'return of koyuki', he's just a childish punk. wah lao... piss me off in the morning at 12.30am.

i said my goodbyes on msn at around 12.50am. toss and turned till 2 and wah lah... i drooled off to sleep. surprisingly, this is the part that i like about myself, i woke up earlier than my alarm.

i'm in work now. pls sms me if you are sian. coz i'm sian. ha.

knocking off...

i can't seem to force myself to sleep after waking up. she kept running through my mind, even now. aftermath of ladies with makeup on, i'm an easy prey i guess. kinda sad though, now that's over, it's hard to move on, when reality slaps you in the gut that you're in the last year. sheisser. i'll be history. i need to go forward. i'll be leaving something undone coz i'm not bold enough. i'm not good enough. it's a sad thing... if this school is still part of me, i may be coming back as alumni, but without her, where do i stand to come back for a look?

what a hard resolution to make, it's so difficult to plunge another step into the future and it's devastating seeing the clock didn't stop. my initial goal somehow crumble in my state of emotions. NUS or NTU and then no more NP. i must be a stupid person to dwell on this kind of things. so girly.

will you shed a tear for me
to show that you cared
even for a moment with my presence
i want to see your smile

what's staying is this longing
to hold your hand with mine
it seems like i can be the happiest man
Don't forget me just yet

some impromptu lyrics for a chorus... sigh.

concert...

great... some minor screw ups but the outcome is GREAT! the band is GREAT! the crowd isn't that bad, but could be better, blame on the publicity. hahaha.

it's great, i get to talk to more ppl. i'm like the scary dude in scc and i dun like to consider myself in there, unless it's the perks or something. haha. get to talk to alot of ppl other then the usual YAKUZA SOUR. but can say they like dun like me like that leh. sad sia. i'm too fierce i guess. haha. got to talk to qiuyun and ivy more, at least they are friendlier, thanks for the nail polish and assistance in my nail, gorgeous ladies.

great. so now wat? more songs? YEAH! i'm still pretty nooby but i'll keep writing and writing till it stands out. i may even write chinese! HMM!

YAKUZA SOUR ON!

Merry Christmas

heylo my fellow friends. Merry Christmas. Cheers.

back from having dinner with zw and greg and got some drinks. i felt that something or someone is telling me to buy a bottle of drink for my parents. well. i did. it's not expensive, quite a cheap bottle and it's not hard liqueur or some exotic wine brands, just a fruity rum for my parents. my dad's home and i gave it to him.

Dad: "I don't drink."
Me: "I got it for you and mum. Some fruity rum."
Dad: "Buy or get?"
Me: "I buy for you both as Christmas present."
Dad: "Oh, Thank You."

Ain't it cool? MY DAD SAID THANK YOU! haha! i'm so happy that i bought it for them.

JIA YOU! CONCERT'S COMING UP! YAKUZA SOUR!

Merry Christmas my friends, have a blessed week!

work and play

work has been rather... relaxed. it's like going there and then just bum all the way to the end. the project is going to end and i'm just dragging it.

guess what... well, call me a pedophile all you want, I MET UP WITH JOEY TODAY! she's so darn cute like a little doll (pls dun read my blog, joey) and super hyper. i cannot catch up with the younger ppl nowadays, maybe just paul, he claims that he's young and still doing crazy things. i'm so happy to see her, it's been months, like 6 months, and i always told the 3 meimeis i'll be organizing outing. sorry, i've failed, too busy with work. meng xin and mich (not joey), my cca's going to have a concert coming up, so y not come? it's only 6 bucks and i'm performing! yay! *i'm such a thick skin*

well, preparations are still undergoing, i'm still thinking of adding more spunk into my songs and i'm also working on the arrangement of the concert theme. yup, if you're wondering wat is concert theme, it's a song.

you: "OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE WRITING A SONG TO REPRESENT THE CONCERT?!"
me: "yup, you can say so"
you: "YOU SUCK AT SONG WRITING!"
me: "oh well, they asked me to"

it's kinda a big thing man, i've got an excellent vocal arranger, mr steve, and i've came up with my set. i think i'm going to have like 10 vocalist, and i definitely need someone who can lead the singing, coz all i can say is... "you... over there, flat." or "you... over there, shut up". that's it.

honestly, i'm not really in a good mood now. i dunno why. i'm going to see daphne soon this saturday, i'm SOOO EXCITED! yay! YAY!

fragile with the right hand lady.

for once, i saw 2 english songs on the top of the mp chart in the overall section. for once, i'm delighted that someone out there is enjoying my songs more thn the other chinese songs. well, who's john papa? hahaha. if you are in the blog, i'll reveal it to you.

it's me.

put it this way. john('s) papa. haha. me. i'm gonna name my son john whn i have one. humble man in the Lord. well, i do hope that he does not have a broken 5 year relationship though. haha.

i think what my band members should learn is to keep calm and enjoy themselves. every song has a life to live, i guess, and it's up to the members to bring it out. i'm pretty tired of hearing, "oh, i screwed up in the song..." or "shit man, i shouldn't have done that" or even "i'm not in the mood to do it and i think i'll be shitty today". hey man, this is a performance and the song reflects on you. what if one day you perform for some big star as a sessionist for jay chou and thn so happen you are not in the mood or screw up? professionalism, we need to strive for it. even though our technicalities are very shallow, we still have to work on it and put in effort to show it to the crowd. set recovery, knowing how to come back and notice your wrong so as not to bring the set down. practice.

really proud of my band members. gotta work hard and i'm gotta push you guys harder.