milk + cornflakes = breakfast

Saturday, June 14, 2008

really the last post. hahaha.

ok. it's pretty amusing. met up with ceyao for mc breakfast this morning and chatted before i enter this monday. after that, we came to a bookshop and he was amused by some 8 year old 20c machine that shoots ping pong balls. but this is not the main thing.

i saw jamie.

or rather, she saw me first and she went, "hi, edmund." and stopped infront of me. i was like 'hi' and brain was like 'who is she?'

well, nice seeing her around.

why does ceyao have to play the ping pong thing?!

Monday, June 9, 2008

closing down...

i'll be closing down this blog soon. getting alittle tired of it and after heading to ns, i wont have the time to blog.

just wanna thank all of you who came in here to read my rants and stuff, and i hope that you kinda gained something.

God bless ya.

ed

Friday, June 6, 2008

one more week...

darren and binny went in already. then my cousin and lastly, me.

it's goodbye to alot of people as i plan to not see you people again, not that i'm cruel, but it's just the truth. a different phase of life change the people around us. there are ppl we keep, and people we lose. ok, i'm usually pretty optimistic about things but when it comes to the truth, i have to face it. isn't it too early? that's the sad part, kinda started worrying.

i've liked a girl for quite some time, and it's goodbye to this thought, i've got to move on. some friends i will keep, either i bother to keep or they bother to keep me. haha, usually only guys bother to keep me, i'm a sad man, should be gay eh.

1 more week to ns, i'm looking forward to it. just have to give up alot of things. sigh.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

graduation dinner

went for the grad dinner last night and it was pretty good, i think. there's so many glamourous women. wow... it's sad to see them go. as usual, most of the engineering side are made up with guys, so girls was a small portion of our half. however, the other half was packed with beauties. i was kinda mesmerised by a girl. i keep looking at her and didn't tell anyone about it. she's so pretty. but in a paul's point of view, maybe she's not. so why did edmund think she's pretty? SHE LOOKS LIKE MIKA NAKAMURA! super pretty...

after the dinner, alan, guan zhao, henry and i decided to just go and chill, since it's our last meeting and will be nice to just have a chat and stuff. walked to clark quay and coincidentally met up with another group of buddies, yao boon, wei jin, ruo ying, alvin, roger and emily. so we went to a bar to chill. 10 of us "uncorked" a bottle of chivas and spent the night away dancing and mixing around with some Caucasians. it's pretty fun dancing, just dancing randomly with the music and the alcohol swaying the head off. there's this german, he's crazy man. his drive for women is there man. we danced till Forbidden City closes, which is 3++am, and the 2 germans wants more. like i said, they desire the "peak of the everest", so we brought them to MOS to party. after bringing them there, we bid our goodbyes and went off home.

reached home at 4.20am, and woke up occasionally to puke. i guess i drank too much, hahaha. i puked part of my dinner, and then the orange juice that came with the dinner, twice. i guess the cataract for this 'pukage' is the alcohol. but it's cool, i'm feeling better now. got up at 1.20pm, that's how much i slept, haha.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

graduation day...

this is the day where all of us are waiting for. well, not everyone, but we still do know that we have to end this phase of life at some point. even though tears are not seen on stage or anywhere around the convention centre, i'm pretty sure that some of us do know that we may not be seeing each other again. there is a mixture of sadness and, of course, gladness. having spent 3 wonderful years in this school and it is indeed the best times in my life, for now.

i put on my gown and went to my seat. slowly, memories start to melt into my conscience and pretty much made a clear image of the past. sweet memories, some call them. i giggled at myself, not knowing there's so many people in my course, as i start to remember my first crush in poly when i saw her walk up the stage to collect her diploma.

the graduation procession ended and i headed back to my ex-classroom. the nostalgic space that surrounds me churns out an appreciation for the lecturers who nurtured me till the end of my diploma course. and of coz, not forgetting the 2 TSOs who assisted my group's struggle in our project work. both of them are like friends than just academic staff.

went out with jay and kinet for dinner in town and kinda made jay emo. ha. ended the day with a freaking long train ride, accompanying kinet to sembawang thn to jurong east. in the train, we were flipping through the ece mag, and we kinda picked the pretty girls and i told them about my first crush. while looking into the picture with all the ece academic staff, i start to recall my lecturers from year 1 and 2. these memories are pretty faint and i'm sure i can't remember some of their names clearly too, but i do remember what they did and i will always give thanks to their efforts.

I would like to thank my peers for this exciting and fun journey in NP and my parents who have been supporting me. Thank God for all the encouragement, wisdom, support and courage. I love you girls/guys.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

2nd weird dream...

took a nap at 4pm and i still managed to dream. curry chicken and a huge flood that managed to cover the roads. thn going to japan with my grandma. and i woke up. lol. weird.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

morning blues...

went into ivy's blog, and got freaked out. not coz her blog's graphics are to horror like, but the music just shook my quiet being. it's like some chanting and i was thinking, "what! ghost?! where?! where's the chanting?!"

being the morning, i looked around my desk and found out it's ivy's blog. arh...

today on ST Home, Msia is banning foreign cars to fill their petrol tanks in kiosks that are within a 50km radius relative to the Sg-Msia border. on the surface, it's pretty bad for the sg cars coz malaysia's petrol is so much cheaper and the ban kinda shut the tap of an essential source for petrol towards them. reason for the ban, they don't wanna share the RM 40 billion subsidy on petrol to foreign cars. i thought, "well, it's pretty reasonable. since it's your money, you can do anything with in." however, the kiosks owners cried out. being up to 90% of their business, especially the kiosks that substantially near for sg cars to enter msia and top-up, depended on sg cars. well, save the money for locals, but locals lost business. haha. nice move.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

weird dream...

i had a weird dream yesterday. not really that hentai kind, just weird.

i dreamt that i was going to some mrt station with kian and binny, but ended up in some mrt station that looked like yio chu kang and than i kinda called kinet. dunno why i called kinet, but i called kinet. but kinet nv answer my call, instead, someone from alpha answered. thn i say hui jia with her group of friends just after a bath. thn i woke up.

eh brain, can come out with something that has a relation to something or not? like dream of running or jogging along east coast park and thn do some pull-ups. or play badminton with a grp of friends. something like that would be nice.

i managed to complete a song yesterday night and realised it took me around an hour plus. the time just flew and i was pretty absorbed over it. well, ns is coming and i'm pretty excited over it, also kinda depress over it. my mom has been saying it like ns is hell, so it influenced me abit.

i guess i should actually read up on how to play stocks eh, to waste some time away.

Monday, May 26, 2008

i'm alittled worried on how will our songs turn out during the performance coz we kinda only perfected it last minute. ha. punk man! ok, alittle punk won't hurt. i can't believe how slip shot i am, just finishing 2 songs in like 4 days and one of them i finished it on the rehearsal day itself. i was thinking of a 4th, with just me playing and maybe a love song. arh, i hate writing love songs, it's so boring and from a fat man like me, i've got 0 experience in this kind of matters. boo...

ns is edging nearer and the time where i'm going to leave people is also pretty soon. sigh, i'm going to miss my guitar for 2 weeks man. i love my guitar. and i'm going to get a new one soon after i got enough cash to get a JAP Strat. i'm going japanese...

Sunday, May 25, 2008

can't thought of a title...

it's a pretty good day yesterday, being with the guys and playing more songs and indirectly killing them. man... i wanna exercise. but it's so hot and there's still a rehearsal later on. i've got one more song to complete and i've got to type it out later on. well, simple song and kinda a change of pace in a genre, all the weird pop stuff, or maybe just the christian reflections.

probably the only thing that i realise is that the only situation that i dare to say, "i love you" is to my guitar. arh... like that how to get girlfriend sia, edmund. it'll be like... "ゆき(ギータの名前) 愛してるぞ" something like that. ha.

ok, you reader will probably thing you should actually give up reading this blog coz this fool just kept going about his guitar. well, maybe. ha.

Friday, May 23, 2008

guitar...

jo came over today. i was thinking of how to teach him guitar and i thought that i should actually teach him the more theory kind of approach. not really very very theory, but to start off from knowing the notes rather thn knowing the chord patterns, which what most guitar guides will prefer.

there's so many things to learn on the guitar but i'm just so reluctant to pickup, like memorising my frets. without knowing them, i'm still quite lost in changing keys in solos. pretty cool at how richie blackmore does. santana is the way man... santana...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

fun day...

went to darren's place today to do up phoebe's card and nua at his pool. my hands are all wrinkled. his place changed alot man, another new home theatre and another new dining table. wah.

in the pool, i was kinda worrying about something. well, not about getting a girlfriend, it's about nurturing my kids next time. well, it's very very far, but i'll still be there one day. will i be prepared? beating our child seems to be a rare practice nowadays, and seeking alternatives bring up a child. it's pretty difficult man. say if i've got a daughter, i was thinking will i accept her character and her image statement. say my daughter bought a set of bikini or a piece of exotic under garment, how well i react to it. hardly any asian parent wants their child to bear too much skin in the public, so letting this thought go is pretty difficult. getting a guy will be much simpler i guess. well, i think for my wife, getting a girl will be much simpler. hahaha.

i'm not sure about how my dad feels nowadays. he's like a loner man. after work, come home with dinner for my bro and i, thn head out alone to de-stress. i don't see him talking much to his friends and maybe he's a family guy. i wonder how he feel about me drinking beer. at least he let it go, and just told me to watch my alcohol consumption, which is pretty minimal. what if i smoke?

jo's coming over tml for his 1st guitar lesson, shall cook something for lunch. i'm getting broke. ha.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

simpler blogskin...

i thought that it might be good to be simpler. ha. not exactly new though. well, the previous one kinda contradicts my image. i'm just a plain little boy going to be sent into the renown slave camp in a nearly island this coming june.

well, i'll not be seeing alot of people and definitely meeting new buddies. will be goodbye to some of you, especially the ones i met in school, the not so close ones that is. i can't wait for the moment after the 2 years. will it be nus? or ntu? i'm pretty flexible though, but i do prefer nus, which still has no reply to my application. i'm quite sad about it, just hope that they don't send in a rejection letter.

bumped today off and i'm in a middle of a new song. well, quite mushy really, and i'm attempting a 6/8 signature. so i met up with alot of challenges. booted my short sentences coz it's too draggy and now i'm thinking about the longer sentences. i gave a mushy title, Reason to Love. hahaha. well, not a mushy theme though. it's a song about this child left home due to some differences between the life she wants to pursue, which was thought by her dad as too far fetched, and her dad's idea of her future. her dad kinda fought with her about it, so she resorted to leaving home. so her dad felt really sad about her leaving him and the family and came into his senses that he should just welcome her home and not blame her even if she succeeded or failed to achieve what she wants. well, this song is in the perspective of the dad, not the girl.

still have a long way to go for this song, so probably an acoustic set, with zw singing. hahahaha.

Monday, May 19, 2008

risotto... yay...

i didnt expect my dad to arrive home early. oh well, it's till pretty difficult to have a conversation with him. not that we're both quarreling, it's just both of us have this similar character. loners. haha.

i was trying to think of a set of lyrics, with a melody that is pretty wavy kind. not too stuck up with the current level of theory i know. well, i guess i have to go visit yubin sometime to learn what he learnt about minor major and stuff, so i can add some flare in my songs. recently, i found out that the major 4th can be changed into a minor to lead a song back to the major root. it's pretty interesting and i'm actually abusing it now. ha. oh well, the minor 7ths are pretty interesting too.

yesterday, had the 1st rehearsal for the mp song, kinda forced kinet to puke out a solo. haha. everyone's doing fine, have to be tighter and i'm alittle lost too. so maybe coming saturday? rehearse again? haha... i hope so, it's pretty fun doing this song.

tml will be a new day. no work, but got workout. lets go ed...

super hyper voltex milk

milk + corn flakes = one of my favourite breakfast combinations.

it's over, no more pharmacy assistant, no more patients thinking that we a doctors, no more drugs and bye bye to some nice people i met in the pharmacy. the 2 months with them was probably the most exciting job i had, trying to beat the clock and entertaining patients' requests. sometimes, it does feel good after you've done something for the patient but it kinda sucks when the patient tried to think his/her way and not listening to you.

i hated the home delivery. personally, i feel that why can't people just follow procedures or agree to the conditions that is written on the home delivery option paper? it's written 3 working days, and they kinda left this condition out.

another thing is, why do patients approach us if they want to change their prescription? it's weird. why don't they contact their doctors. maybe, the doctors are weird too. hahaha.

something random...

レドしんごリエンジア の 新 飲み物!
何これ!
スパー ハイパー ボルテスー ミエキー
さ! 子供だち! 遺書に飲んでください! 凄く 美味しいでしょ!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

pizza phobia...

caught this thing this afternoon. didnt report to work this morning due to constipation and it really sucks. ha. when my bro came home this late afternoon, i was pretty well so i decided to give my bro a treat, since i rarely do that. i was thinking of ordering mcdonalds but noticed that i had it last night and i have 50 bucks in my wallet, so why not pizza?

i hadn't tried canadian for some time since i kinda patronise sarpinos, but well, wont hurt trying rite? so i asked my bro to order 2 regular 10" pizzas, beef bacon cheeseburger and smoked salmon. i kinda heard his conversation and realised he missed the "regular" word, so after he ended his conversation with 62410241, i double checked with him if he ordered regular and mentioned the word "regular". he said, "yes."

but it turned out... no... 2 large 14" pizzas at the door step and i went, "shit man, how are both of us going to finish such stuff?" well, since that pizza dude made a trip down, i wouldn't want to send him back again, not knowing whether is canadian's or my bro's fault.

this is hell. i ate more thn a 14" pizza and i was bloated. i actually got sick for pizza now and the smoked salmon was awful. no more pizza till maybe after or during my bmt. argh...

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

sick...

this is one of the few times in the year i fall sick... flu, cough and sore throat. well, to be more precise, it's sore throat then to a flu and now cough that rattles my throat. called in the pharmacy and luckily ridzwan picked up. poor people that got ignored by us... hahaha... we just hate phone calls, don't we? hahaha...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

army, being the scum for the nation...

work has been getting better, i think. most of the time, it's the patients that gave me problems rather thn the pharmacists. i still make alot of mistakes though and still am willing to learn more. it's funny though, i made alot of mistakes today, especially in the morning, but why bother? haha...

16th of june, it's the day that i will be embarking on a new phase of life. fear, some may call it. hysteria... well, mandy's in for a year of it and he's still alive, i guess i will be alive thn. 26 wks of bmt, will be a long long long long period of being botak. haha...

Thursday, April 3, 2008

cyclosporin!!!

arh... damn it... just before i left work, this pharmacist went to lecture me about packing extra. well, it's my fault for not checking the amount in a box. arh... this is crazy. the label printed 60 in a box, but in actual fact, the new box has 100 and it's 5 bucks a tablet! great!

right after lunch today, i went back to packing prescriptions. $3.2k prescription. i was kinda shocked. and it's only an item. the item is in cencer centre which is so far away, so i was thinking what if i broke it and stuff. haha. it's just a bottle of inj, a small one. 3.2k bucks. worth more thn gold man.

during dinner i was having mini wok, i thought that it will be good, but i didnt finish my noodles and went back home. while bathing, i was thinking why don't i just order a rice dish since i prefer rice to noodles. more thinking in the bathroom which evolves to rice and noodles engineering. not much of a big discovery, or not even a discovery, just thinking how human satisfy one another. rice noodles. intricate outcome of interlocking cooked/steamed mixture of rice flour and water. hehe. well, all random...

i'm getting abit too much random sickness, must be the work...

Thursday, March 27, 2008

thanks for spoiling my mood...

this is why i hate working at NUH...

some random old lady just walked into the pharmacy. commented on my dress code just 30 minutes into work...

random old lady: do you know you can't wear jeans to work? no one told you about it? is this your first day here?
me: no, fourth...

i was quite sad liao, coz my mom told me i can wear jeans, but now cannot... the worst is yet to come...

i saw some random medication on the bottom table which is pretty much in a mess, and it's kinda like scattered all over. so i went to sort them out and try to clear the place, and tahdah! the same old lady... this time, she screeched...

some random old lady: OEI! NI BU YAO DONG WUO DE DONG XI! (translation: OEI! DON'T YOU TOUCH MY THINGS!)

eh, it doesn't have a name on it and i'm new...

i was quite sad and she kinda spoil the mood, that's why i hate working at nuh. most of the old ladies won't fail to pull people down and living in their own world, increasing the layers under their skin. i don't mind being warned for making mistakes or being scolded cause it's my fault, and i do get some stern scoldings, but this?! this is atrocious...

i was thinking of quiting in the morning but the adrenalin to keep moving kept me on my toes...

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

parmacy assistant...

it's the end of my 2nd work day and i've got to tell ya, it's not simple. getting paid 7 bucks an hour to handle the drugs of patients, memorizing tons of medicine shelfs and getting screwed by senior technicians, it's indeed underpaid.

well, honestly, i didn't really learn much about medicine, maybe the way they count it and the procedure to process the prescription, other than that, nothing much. i still ignore a ringing phone, only do short queue and long queue prescriptions limit to 5 different medication. i still cant order ran out medicine from the other retail pharmacy in kent ridge wing and i still cant work out the ipharm, the program that governs the whole stock and patient's details database. well, if they ask me to create a database and gave me 3 months to do it for 5k, i wouldn't mind! 1 month to learn access or sql and another month to work on the project. that's a good deal right.

well, work over there is pretty busy, but the people are very willing to help me, for now that is. i guess my first impression on people is that they dislike me, i think. arh... i'm in the wrong environment, i should be in something engineering, doing some projects to improve their manufacturing operations or whip out a test system for them to test their new product. arh...

my feet are in pain, i need rest.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

my dream guitar...

well, i guess it probably will worth more thn 10k, considering that it's going to be ESP custom from japan. it will kick ass...
i'm just dreaming... dreaming again...

Friday, March 21, 2008

obligations...

truth does hurt alot, and most of the time, it's pretty tough to stick to the rules when you have the real goods tying you down. it's quite disheartening after reflecting that you kinda force someone into something. it's like farming for a foie gra, you always have 2 groups, the francophiles who goes all out for the french cuisine and the animal rights activists, claiming that force feeding by sticking a feeding tube down the esophagus of a goose/duck for it's fatty liver is cruel. however, you'll in the middle, telling you that you love foie gra and force feeding a duck is cruel.

well, i did put a stop to this, as usual, i'm at the disadvantaged end. it's kind of sad. ok, i'm pitying myself, so girly.

i'm starting work next week, and it's good friday already.

Thank you Lord for your blood that saved us from eternal death. Amen

Monday, March 17, 2008

sleepy...

so sleepy. can't get it out of my mind.

i'm lost. i really don't know what to blog? haha. suggestions please. suggestions.

i'll go slp.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

SAT...

決めたんだ。。。

i've decided to go for it. SAT Reasoning Test, here i come. darren kinda convinced me. haha. after taking just a short glimpse on sy's GMAT, i was thinking, "to go for MBA takes a pain in the butt eh..."

well, amidst the difficulty, irritation from the english and numbers in the multiple choice questions, and eyesight, GMAT is pretty interesting. however, it's not within my reach yet, of course.

so... step by step. i'm guessing my enlistment date is in june, so i'm left with quite an amount of time. i hate working and liked personal time and studying. how about taking SAT? after darren called me on sunday.

SO! i'm going into study mode again!

ヨシャ!!! ぜたい勝つ!!!

Monday, March 10, 2008

getting older...

argh... my back is aching and i felt like cracking it. i'm still tired and my head is still not thinking straight, it sucks.

i haven't been composing nowadays, sudden lost and bound to sudden boredom. topics that relate to love and/or life seems to be a cliche and kinda don't appeal to me anymore. theme based, story based and one more that i forgot. how to write a set of good lyrics? it's still an adventure.

writing arrangements now are tougher than usual nowadays. purpose of the arrangement, choice of notes and dynamics. these three are frequently forgotten.

yawn... i'm getting alittle older day by day...

Monday, March 3, 2008

my boss my hero...

just finished a drama series. my boss my hero. it's a pretty good drama, or maybe it's just the girls. or rather, girl.

aragaki yui, another yui in my mind. why are japanese idols so much appealing compared to the local ones? well, fiona xie and felicia chin are pretty, but they don't move people. sigh...

i should stop watching love dramas again.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

taboo...

been quite awhile since i've updated my blog. well, nothing much these days. i haven't contacted my boss yet, and i think he don't want me anymore. hahaha... biscuit...

i found out something today. or rather through the days of rest. i'm getting alittle short tempered nowadays. not sure why. must be the lack of school and the 1 whole semester of work. during work, i've learnt to be very sensitive, especially to the words used, both incoming and outgoing. i've learnt the few taboos in work, one of which is very common...

"eh, what is your pay arh?"

that's a very light degree nia. one thing is that i tend to categorize extensively now, to match the sensitive speech thing, coz there's always a degree of people who speak without thinking, but in some cases, the ultra smart and maybe cunning ones, act to speak without thinking. but in sg, i hardly find this kind of people. more of people giving the impression of "i know what you don't know" or "i know your darkest secrets". haha... it's very amusing though.

i'm hungry again. arh... i'm growing fatter and fatter...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

wrist...

my wrist hurts. so much stroking on the stick. it hurts. hahaha...

drum sticks my friend.

i was practicing too much i think, and getting alittle bit out of hand. it was very nice, the stick landing on the drum pad. building up my feel and muscle memory. superb! i'll play more tml. my wrist really hurt.

lalalala... drums! lalalala...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

half life... hahaha...

i'm super tired arh! played half life till 5am in the morning and i just got up. actually, i got home at 3am, i didn't really chiong half life all the way in the night. i wanted to play cs but there's not many players in it, so half life loh.

i learnt my lesson yesterday about how important a good metronome is. i borrowed a drumpad from kian and got really into all my basic rudiments yesterday. of coz, i'm a beginner in this, so i need time. for now, paradiddles on 110 bpm, double paradidles on 120 bpm, paradidledidledidle on 60bpm (it's really damn confusing), double stroke on 100 bpm. it's a really refreshing start and i think it's been quite awhile i've practised something.

doing rudiments is really really fun, i spent around an hour playing it yesterday, perfecting my strokes and getting comfortable. at this point, hitting and going with the metronome is the point, must have the feel good thingy. i dunno how to explain. well, more practice later in the afternoon.

Friday, February 15, 2008

the day after valentine's day...

well, amri, ceyao and i decided to go out yesterday. it's a day which most of us singles hate but it's not a day which 3 of us thought of. it was our presentation day on wednesday, so yesterday was out to relax and to just chill with good friends. the only bad thing was that it's valentine's day and swensens in marina sq got packed with coupled reserve tables. we're moving as 3 guys, damn, made us look like gays. well, good thing was we had a big table, a 6 seater. very obviously made us straight.

i was thinking of buying 2 individual dishes for myself yesterday, but it turned out that i had too much just having a dish to my own. the salmon baked rice wasn't good, the fish is too dry, but i shall give my compliments to the gravy, not too thick and the taste is pretty rich. 3 of us had ice cream, amri's a sizzling pan, butterscotch, nice... ceyao's mango, nice too. i got frost malt, pretty good too. i can't believe i had so little, perhaps it's the pricing the shrunken my stomach capacity, sigh, 25 dollars down the drain.

watched cj7, liked the show, a very good laugh. i think i had too much serious kinda of movie till i forgot how to enjoy the more simpler plots. it's pretty good, as advertised.

did alittle shopping for toiletries and went on back to ceyao's car. he had a crazy idea. we headed to ecp and went scouting. for? hehehe... couples making out in the car. hehehe... but, we didnt catch any. we thought we did! but either we missed it, or they spotted us and didnt continue. we went up right to their windows to see, hahaha. shit man, couples, hate us! hahaha...

headed home and watched hana kimi... fell in love with an idol with similar age. Horikita Maki-chan... so cute. *drools*

horikita maki...

i have to stop watching love dramas. i've became a fan of horikita maki. shit... she's quite pretty you know. same age too. argh...

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

technically graduated...

it was 9.30am and i was in the classroom right with my booted laptop with my presentation slides waiting for the lecturers to settle into their seats. today may not be the official date where i get my diploma and get out of school, but it sure brought a huge degree of nostalgia. 10.40am, i took my trusty friend for 3 years and placed it on the table. inserted the RGB cable, got the display up and started talking. it was smooth and my lecturers wore faces that portray a good impression. it was fun.

a part of me tapped my shoulders after i blurted 'Thank You' and proceeded to my seat.

'You're done, edmund.'

3 years and my journey ends here, scribbling on the last page of my best chapter in my life and trying to hold my thoughts from wondering. recalling my first day, school's probably the best and i've probably paid more attention on life. still fat, but happier. i'm still the same old edmund, a very realistic character with just a tint of ideas. may not be the friendliest person around, but just good enough to remember his name.

i hope i did left some impression, as i do know people with such personalities i possess is not attractive and normal.

i love you.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

my tagboard is silent... again...

i've come to a point where i'm gonna say this. i'm stressed. i've been affected by it. i can see my change in attitude towards people and i am as obvious as a book. i can be read easily, i think.

this year's chinese new year suck like shit. i just realised. absolutely and totally no ang bao from my mum's side. i'm like the forgotten one. but heck. i dun like them anyway. not all, but most. chinese new year, emphasis is on the good things. all they spout were the bad. who the fisherman wanna listen to the bad while you wanna hear the good. i'm so pissed when i reached home. YES! I'M FAT AND YOU DUN NEED TO FREAKING REPEAT IT EVERYTIME YOU SEE ME AND I'M SICK OF IT!

can't they just say this, "wow, thanks for your hospitality." or "how's your school? good? have you been a good boy in school?" NO! FISH NO! they'll find someway to say it and my mom is the worst. she's the starter of this. i'm sick of them. so sick till i'm ranting like a xmm. i'm being very immature right now but i'm need to just let it out.

i'm so sick of them.

Monday, February 11, 2008

so much kfc...

wah sian. spent alot money today. or rather, i spent alot of money nowadays. i need to cut down on the spending money. arh... money management...

went pizza hut in the afternoon, after that went kfc. it's like 25 bucks for both meals and my dad's gonna lecture me for an hour if i do that in front of him. well. my mom would probably lecture me for probably months, or years. she will take the phase, "all the 25 dollars pizza hut for lunch and kfc for dinner fault..." and nag on and on.

i love chili crab. ate it yesterday. dad said that it's not that spectacular, but it's still pretty good on my taste buds. maybe i'm not so privileged. maybe, having to eat chili crab is like the thing in my life. i kinda skipped the 'yi ping wuo'. i don't eat abalone, well, i dun really like it. ha.

PPP and Presentation and there goes my poly. NS! HERE I COME! and my next school, NUS! or NTU! bye poly... thanks for teaching me so little, i need more!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

burdens...

it might make you great shouldering them, but it comes to a time where you feel the stress about it. being the contributor while the contributed is not responding as what you are least expecting can be very disheartening. being in a group and striving for the better, making effort in every way. this sucks.

why haven't anything been improving?

Thursday, February 7, 2008

i'm home alone during the festive season... yay...

well, not my family ditched me at home. it's rather i ditched my family while they plan to go to msia. other than chew gum and food, i hate going to msia and meeting people.

peace at home, alone. i have to buck up on my song writing. it's not taking a well turn and it's too, how can i say it, rigid. been listening to this lady on youtube, miss nunes. i forgot her first name. ha. sorry. she's pretty good at her originals, i like them and if i got the chance to get one of her cds, i would love to. hmm, i'm not too sure about the shipping though.

happy chinese new year. it's going to be a lonely one for me but i guess a change of pace for this year will be good rather then going around with new clothes and aunties trying to persuade me to lose weight and get a girlfriend, or the most common topic among them now... "edmund, when are you enlisting?"

as the 1st grandson of my dad's side, everyone will be excited.

i can't wait for army either. idling for too long is bad, i think. ha. army army!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

i'm a lazy polar...

i go to bed at 1 and i wake up at 11, it's like an hour or so into the afternoon on the same day. and i can't last for 4 hours, i'll go back to sleep again. haha. freedom, you can say. free from iap and now catching back all my sleep.

one thing i hate the need to pee during sleep or just before you're awake. it's like when you wake up and wanna go into snooze mode, your body goes, "hey sucker, you gotta pee!" and after you pee, you don't feel like going back to sleep. it's the same as the urge to pee during your sleeping hours.

"hey sucker, you gotta pee!"

looking through guitars and i still have fender fetishes. it's like wow, strat, telecaster, jaguar and a mustang. oh, screw the cyclone, it's disgusting. i'd love to own a cij someone and maybe even a mia. i would love to own an esp eclipse too. a les paul would be very good too, a gibson one. lastly, the white falcon, by gretsche. very commercial, coz i'm not deep into it. well, they are good guitars.

scheisse, i've got a damn headache. arh... be back later!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

after no lifing for the last 20 minutes...

76 words

Touch Typing

end of the road, take a turn into a new lane...

it's the end of my iap. also nearly the end of my school. looking back, i've been doing alot of stupid things because of a girl. or rather girls. spent so much time, effort and energy on worthless things. kept driving people about studying hard yet they are not rooting themselves in their books and making the effort. there are people that i'm really proud of, but there are also people that i despise. you can all it quits for local uni and start saving up for NSW or some foreign uni that accepts the diploma of yours. i dun look down on them, but they have higher chances of letting you get in. it's the money factor.

it's a pretty good day, i was studying applied mechanics yesterday and had my lunch for free by my colleagues. they are cool people, even though they are quite education inclined. the usual topic they speak with me was ns. haha. seems like ns is going to be fun, taking from their point of view. mentally, i'm pretty prepared to get a beating from the sergeants, physically, i need some work on that.

the end of the road is very near, and i sure miss some people in poly. however, some of them are not worth to be missed. i'm not in the mood these days, and i dun put on my facade, to show how pathetic they are to piss someone that lasted for 3 whole years.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

it's time to bid goodbye...

pepperl and fuchs really house good environment to work with. ok, the food sucks like shit but it's still good. i kinda miss my table already even though the 'graduation' is tml. i don't really communicate well with my colleagues but today really made me feel happy. one of the things that really touch me is to see a group of people that you are with laughing while having their food. paul, amri and i bought the pizzas to treat the dudes and lady, while they got the drinks from the canteen. well, henry manage to act cute with the auntie to get 6 cans of drinks. really lively and heart warming. they are talking about ns, the guys.

the whole day was pretty much empty. paul tan's not in and i've completed my work, what's left is him commenting for improvement or screwing my program up and then ask me to troubleshoot. even though the whole department kinda dislike him because of his previous actions, thus him landing into a new department, i would like to appreciate my boss for allowing me to learn and the flexibility and freedom he gave. he's really friendly and helped me out like a friend.

tml is my last day in p+f, i'll miss them and move on. hope my next iap in uni will be there too. or i'll approach them for my iap. haha. 650 bucks for uni student, pay increase. hahahahahaha.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

2 days of planned hell...

if you've are left with 3 days and you've got 14 reports to do, excluding a big report biting your ass, what will you do? i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dead. 14 weeks worth of reports not done, and that's my peak of procrastination. i'm doing the stunt of finishing everything up at the last minute. time drives me, not girls. if you put xiao min infront of me, i'll give my grades up and ask her to be my bride instead. arh. i'm so screwed. but i'll continue to blog.

a day's routine in p+f is pretty wild, yeah. you get to see operators killing each other, or they have some weird sence of belonging with each other, like tugging each other. totally awesome! my ass. this sucks, and they are damn noisy. i've got nothing against the china chinese in general, but some of them have super high pitch voices that rings your ear drums. it's like, shit, it's ringing again.

anyway, here's my usual schedule...

7.20am: reached p+f, trying to talk to paul sim but he's not a morning person, so usually it's just me thinking some usual things like "how am i going to improve the arrangement of this song?" or thinking of a tune. put my stuff on the table and head to the canteen to have some breakfast if i get any food.
7.30am: work starts with not doing anything but surfing the web. i'll got to hotmail, than my blog, than some other common blogs, than scc forum and lastly sgcafe. only wasted 30 mins on it.
8.00am: most probably, i'll still be on sgcafe or channelnewsasia or wikipedia reading.
8.30am: it's going to break-time, don't bother to work, keep reading.
8.48am: breakfast break!
9.30am: start off with some programming, didnt really go all the way.
9.45am: back to surfing routine.
12.15pm: lunch break.
1.15pm: web surfing routine again.
3pm: alittle work like programming or help my colleague to do some administrative work.
4pm: elite's break.
5pm: go home. hahaha.

this is pretty standard coz i'm pretty ok with programming and only motivated by how much time is left. i've kinda completed it, so i'm in my reports now. argh.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

fast fingers...

from jessica's blog. it's a very fun game. played for like 5 times of getting 58-61, i finally beat her score!
75 words

Touch Typing online

singaporean... proud and ashamed to be one...

after going through some of the comments that singaporeans type, be it the food comments, news article comments, trying to take a stand comments and more, i come to a point where i'm feeling quite... disappointed. i'm not going to generalise or classify, blame it on the bad choice of comments i pry and scan my eyes through the words, working them out and understanding them.

i was upset about service. not the people providing services, but the ones that receives service. the c*******e factory, part of my black forest cake venture for qiuyun's treat, was one of the victims. bad service is bad service, but complying to the cafe rules is another matter. bloggers and other entities that type using the keyboard kept swaging around the "no photography" policy, choking the proprietor. most of the posts aren't constructive, but let comments be comments, being a passing remark and a label for the subject that was commented on. however, comments bridge into the marketing affairs of the cafe. i mean, "WHAT THE FISH?!". if that cafe have a nice FLASH website, how could he not be aware of his marketing possibilities online? who are you to talk about whether the comments being a plus or a minus for the cafe? it's atrocious. instead of being constructive, it's not going anywhere, just like micros**t trying to answer your helicopter qns...

you: *on a helicopter* sorry sir, do you know where am i now?
mr micros**ft: on the helicopter.

it doesn't help. the best is, who needs to see your damn 'in response to' type of review when you 'never heard nor stepped into c*******e factory'? reviews lah, mister, not your damn response to a review, take it somewhere else where people like you fishbrain can appreciate.

why not pay a trip down to stomp.com.sg? article of the year... 'Bolster stuck on the tree' nice... that's soooooooooooooooo exciting... next, super super interesting artical... 'Secondary school girl hugging tightly with her partner in public'... wow, that is crazy... which fishing century are you staying at? your grandma's? or dinosaur's? but this is not that bad... the comments are the worsts! the common meanings of the comments is... "SUA KU"...

some how, i feel that some of us here need to work on our brains abit before talking. and oh, the trains being 1/2 full at boon lay station, do you think it's a direct service all the way to the CBD?

damn...

impromptu

it's going to be a very sleepy afternoon. i'm partially dozing off right now and the bak gua i ate just 40 minutes ago left some irritaing residue beneath my mouth ceiling. it's super irritating and i wanna type without looking at the fret board. it's kinda irritating to punch the backspace while you type at 40 words per min speed. well, it's not really fast, but it's really ticks you off when you type that this speed, which excludes your mistakes, and you have to hit the damn backspace button. i've got a pair of fat hands and coupled with fat fingers and it really bothers me much not being able to type properly. the world may been to invent a new keyboard, called fat finger keyboard. meant for fat finger victims like me.

typing is like a hobby to me. i love to read and then just go on and type the passage that i'm reading. it's like side reading for music. your fingers move base on muscle memory and you're actually talking, through your fingers. i've yet to get into this stage for the guitar, if i can do that, that'll be very good, it feels good and the things that came out of your mine being heard in reality, it feels real damn good. ok, that's for more melodic kinda of instruments, not much of a percussion instrument. i still dun really feel for percussion, i play base on muscle memory and i cannot create a fill in real time. it's like just before you hit, you have worked everything out in your mind on what to hit, how many hits and how hard you are going ot hit.

my finger hurts now, i shall rest it.

tuesday... nearly there...

in 4 more days, i'm going to be out of iap. i still owe the school 14 weeks worth of reports that's yet to be done and i've not started on a single word yet. well, you can say this is a extreme result of procrastination. i've never, EVER, got to write 14 weeks of report, how cool is that? NOT. if i can't remember my lyrics, how can i remember what i've done. i know! i'm going to lie! hahaha.

for this pass few days, i'm pretty much obsess with one thing. well, it doesn't really bother me much but it can be a prick at times. nope, not about girls. i'm trying to regain my footing after knowing that all the chasing from the last won't bring much result and after doing so much with no response, why bother to continue where there are so many things hanging on my shoulder. i've been thinking of songs that can sell. yup, songs that can be placed in an album and people actually listens to it and buy or download it. downloading is too much of a common practise, so no point going against it cause i think the people who will be booting the anti-download party will be bigger. take odex for example, good move to go against downloading, bad move for their business. so if you want to download, "download from the rich bands and buy the indie labels" as said by rosli to kinet.

i'm listening more commercial music nowadays, well not really chinese commercial or english, but the japanese rock. hahaha. shit man, most of my songs now is influenced by gazette. i need to listen more! and play more! but my band mates are not there yet, i'm not there yet either, so need to play more! more more more!

damn jay and kinet, they must be playing games now. ARGH! i wanna play games! I WANNA SLEEP MORE! arh! *tears burst like a steam overflowing the edge of a cliff* ARGH! I WANNA SLEEP MORE! oh yeah, jay, i want the emo drummer photos, hehe, they are damn funny, so i can put it up on my blog.

some things i wanna clarify (friendly version):
:) the "i'm not going to reply you anymore but just to tell you that i'm not angry about it" face
:( the "5 second emo" face
:D the happy face
D: the "visually fubar" face
;) the "i'm sick of people using the same smilie so i use this to tell you that i'm not going to reply you anymore but just to tell you that i'm not angry about it" face
;( the pirate face
;D the retarded face
D; the hunchback of notre dame face
<: the fished up face
>: the sesame street alien face
<; the another fished up face
>; the sesame street alien and hunchback of notre dame hybrid face
:p the "i know i'm cute and i'm not going to reply you anymore because i'm cuter than you" face
p: the "got milk?" face
;p the "i'm trying to do something different" face
p; the hunchback of notre dame "got milk?" hybrid face
: the "what the fish" face
; the "fish the what" face
; the frog of notre dame face
:o the "ohhh" face
:O the tenor face
:@ the very impressive soprano face, aka, the "i just wanna show you that i'm angry, but it's a joke" face
=.= the myopic face
-.- the bunta face, aka, the "are you trying to say a joke?" face
o.o the ET face, aka, the "i'm actually blind but i still can see" face
o.0 the toothpick on one side of the eye face
0.0 the ET's mother face
*.* the eye socket face, aka, the "i'm not blind, just to let you know" face
^.^ the happy face
^^ the happy without the mouth face
^_^ the "i'm not so happy but i'm just trying to tell you that i'm happy" face
$_$ the loan shark face
+_= the mathematician face
:{) the italian mafia trying to express "i'm not going to reply you anymore but just to tell you that i'm not angry" face
:{( the italian mafia trying to express doubt face
;{) the goofy italian mafia face
;{( the italian mafia face
;{D the druck italian mafia face
D}: the "you are going to be killed by the italian mafia" face
D}; the italian mafia of notre dame face
:}) the french chef trying to express "i'm not going to reply you anymore but just to tell you that i'm not angry" face
:}( the french chef at work face
:[ the robot face


and the list goes on, but i'll stop here for now, i'll update it later in the afternoon or maybe next time if i'm busy today. have a good day!

Monday, January 28, 2008

monday madness...

shit man. after typing for so long, the blog post didn't go through. sigh.

it's monday and it's the last week of my iap. honestly, i'm not missing anything here, and neither are they treating me badly, actually they are pretty good to me. i kinda owe them something so i've gotta head down and grab some tibits for them, or at least the really good ones, forget about the gilian, need something better then gilian.

yesterday, i had the best mcdonald's cashier in my life, till now that is. i don't really mind about mcdonald cashiers but this one stole my eyes. yeah, not literally, but it's really like a big thing. she's very cute and looks like a singaporean chinese, speaks like one and i hope it's one. thank God that the mcdonald's is within 2 kilometers away. she's so cute! i was trying to get her name, and of course, like all mcdonald's cashiers, or even sales assistants, there's a name tag. "Xiao..." and i can't get the next word, course she's moving around and it's facing downwards. "Xiao..." i kept staring at that particular spot and can be easily mistaken as a pervert. "XIAO MIN!" nice name! but it's pretty obvious is a pseudo. i don't really think a singaporean parent would xiaominise their female child, unless they are very english speaking and studied the primary school chinese textbooks with all the xiao hua, xiao ming, xiao li and stuff, or they are not singaporeans. the words from this particular cashier suggests that she's inexperienced, furthered by her actions, but she's really cute and emits the impression of her being blur. looks like she got some light eye liners and light foundation. it's the whole deal from there. i enjoyed, for the first time coz i don't like talking to strangers, ordering my food, made me feel comfortable even though i was greeted by "what you want?". not in a rude manner, but a tone that is soft and the sence of "hi, i'm new. please take care of me". yeah. pretty good.

well, i wish to bring her home, and probably pay her 2 times more than mcdonalds for bringing me coffee and tea and be my bolster for the night, but i've got no such money to pay now. ha.

Gosh, she's cute.

monday madness...

the last week. it'll be crazy like a pig attached with a fishing rod with a piece of carrot. or is that a rabbit? well, there's so much work to do and i've got 14 weeks worth of reports that has yet to be completed by me. ha. this is pretty crazy, i'm going crazy. if this is the amount of work we're going to get in uni, i'll be willing to adapt to it. it's cool. alot of work and kinda stress you out, increase your level of coping stress. the corporate won't be so easy, i guess. being an iap student is like a privilege staff, delay work also nevermind, flexible datelines, single goal and no parallel projects.

so much work to do but, again, not in the mood to do. nothing drives me. of coz, girls dun drive me in this kind of manner too. the only thing that drives me, is the final dateline. haha, which is friday, but i wanna finish it by today. shit man. dammit.

i can feel the 20+ nuggets in my body, thoroughly regreted having that craving yesterday night. but mcnuggets are nice, and the counter girl is CUTE! i really like the counter girl, but she's like sec 4 or 5, totally out of my league. i kept catching a glipse at her yesterday and kept telling myself, "eh, that's like quite obvious lah." so i look down for her name tag. a pseudo. i dun think her parents will name her "xiao min". but if it's really xiao min, well, it's a plus. it took quite some time too look at her name tag, so i kinda like stared at that area like a pervert, but my true intention is to see the name tag. can see that she's pretty new over there too, she's like stuck for words.

xiao min: *softly* "what you want?" *totally turns me of if she's not cute. i'm not fussy about service, but i love to point things out to help to improve and not dwell into it.*
ed: "erm... can i have the mcnuggets meal please."
xiao min: "stares at me... sorry?"
ed: *wah lao, cannot look into her eyes lah. SO CUTE!* "can i have the 6 piece mcnuggets meal please?"
xiao min: "oh, you mean the set meal?"
ed: "yeah. upsize, change the fries to twister fries" *talk to me more, come on!*
xiao min: "ok. for the drink, what drink you want?" *well, she's new.*
ed: "coke light" *at this point, i'm kinda lost my footing on the ground. i did told myself not to drink coke light, but both words just came out coz i can't think.*
xiao min: "er... having here or take away?"
ed: "having here." *no... it's going to end!"
xiao min: "sorry, what drink do you want again?"
ed: *is that the last move to finish me off?* "coke light" *as you can see, even the 2nd attempt to think of another beverage other thn coke light has failed. thanks to the cutie infront of me*

so after paying up for the meal, i continued to peek at her face. it's like, wow~

it's great.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

hatred...

i wonder if i spelt the title correct. straight to the point. i hate my brother. that's freaking mindless, disgusting, proud and no life gay just pissed me off again. no. i should correct that. just pissed me off everytime he appears within my sight. there's nothing better to get pissed off in the morning, coming back home in the night and then before sleep. i yearn to have my own room but i'm just being adaptable. he's freaking self-centered and doesn't listen to constructive things. the only good thing about him is asking him to get me water and reset the router.

now here comes the weekends where he slump on the sofa and stare at the tv all the till my parents come home. he would then walk into the room and peek at my laptop screen, so openly that i feel so uncomfortable. one thing that i really dislike about this openly peeking is that he come so close, giving the impression he's commanding me. example...

ed: *youtubing on gazette's guren*
that noob: *walks into the room and bent low and stares at my screen* gazette...
ed: *ignores* *thoughts that, "can't he freaking read the title and not say it out and disturb me*

this is not that bad. the worst is this...

ed: *crunchyrolling on gundam 00 and got bored*
that noob: *walks into the room just before i wanted to close the window and bent low and stares at my screen* wah... gundam 00. you know arh... *blah blah blah*
ed: shut up, i'm not interested.
that noob: *blah blah blah*
ed: OOI! CAN YOU SHUT UP OR NOT? I'M NOT INTERESTED!

and once, i treat my family crystal jade. he got the cheek to order ice lemon tea and dunno wat do all the stun. it's me paying and everyone's drinking water, eating normal ramen. yet you insist on your little noobish ice lemon pee and freaking dragon pubic hair. i'm damn pissed with him.

just 15 mins ago. he came into the room, pulled my bag and just slammed it on the floor. the contents dropped out and he just threw all the contents back into the main compartment. one of the compartments contains the fake hair and it's his fault for that to be split. i vacuumed the floor instead. he suck like shit.

he's worst then the little parasites on the pieces of shit that is being left in the sewers, wriggling on his little hands and legs trying to hao lian. his wushu also like kana sai. ling shi bao fou jiao, 4 weeks before grading then start practicing. no consistency. worst is when people walk around the house, he will still practice in the living room. and during the very rare times i watch television, his fake weapon toys will still crack and swing in the air, once merely missing my head, brushing through my hair. you think he can do it that well? no!

Friday, January 25, 2008

headache...

wow... i just was the big boss walk pass my department. guess what, his name is also edmund. haha. cool eh? so how big is big? he's in-charge of the whole plant. he's that big. of coz, 2 days back, there were even bigger bosses. didn't get to see them but i can guess that they are probably the stake holders of P+F, which caused the whole department to do a major cleanup, even my little burrow needs a cleanup.

my head hurts quite bad, and i'm dozing off, as usual. msned with qiang and zhiwei last night, and i couldn't get off it coz i'm kinda addicted to msn. ha. it's around 10.30pm where i pissed zhi wei off by shaking his nerves abit. haha. it's damn fun pissing ppl off, but of coz, it's not good eh. bad edmund. ha. caught cheryl online, so i teased her with the armpit hair photo. it's damn gross and she said the girl is chio. wah lao, cheryl.

after blogging in the morning, i found this...





And as usual... i got itchy fingers... so i used 30 mins of my morning on this...

Blessed are the souls with hands
Reaching out to save
Warmth surrounds their doubtful corners
Hearing what they pray

Homes of joy and of peoples
They gathered and will say
“Come along, my love, my home,
I belong always”

Chorus:
This is my family
Lives my heart, my soul, my life
All my treasures are in this place
Where my dreams were lived

This is my family
Shields me from the pain
My protection from the lost
My love is here all day

Living life against the world
May be cruel, like it may
But the family with no hope lost
Faithfully, I’ll stay

Fruitful bearing, a newfound member
Together they embrace
Comfort from the rain and sun
“I belong always”


Bridge:
The moments of ups and downs
A passing storm moved the land
Stronger bonds formed through these times
We’ll say “I belong always”

hehe... who wanna perform it? i got the melody, just havent got the arrangement. the vocals are pretty hard too, so i'm not singing it. neh neh ni poo poo...

work work work...


OMG...

i did it again...

i was changing in the morning and i told myself to pluck the book i'm reading while i travel to work on the train, kept telling myself to finish the book and not be interferred by other matters. got up, changed, rushed my brother out of the toilet, washup, pack and off i go to work.

suddenly i recalled something. something was missing. flashes of sentences flew by and i was trying to fit it into a puzzle. i planted my foot on a foreign land, which is my corridor. started pacing to the lift while still trying very hard to fit the words into a progressive puzzle.

as the upward recoil came, i was thinking of other parties that are involved. i planned my move. this is crazy, this isn't the time yet, i'm not ready. i was mad, i went bananas in the lift. my hair is not groomed or waxed, just a bed head. i hated bathing in the mornings but i loved bathing in late nights before my sleep, so i was practically floating in my dreams. my washup consists of removing my facial hair and brushing my teeth thoroughly, even though amongst all medical staff that i visit, my fav was the dentist. my brother don't brush his teeth, so his mouth is literally smelly. trash comes out which irritates me most of the time.

i leapt forward at a different altitude, pacing towards the path before my train ride. my heart is pounding hard, the vibrations are resonating through my skin. i can feel it. *thump thump thump* but it's wrong. too slow. not fast enough. am i too hasty to come into a conclusion? i tried to syncronise my breathing while skipping up the stairs. shit i missed a spot. why do i have to miss that very same spot whn i shave. it's always the same area with that few strands of hair that can be counted with my fingers. i need to get it off, it's so unsightly.

reached into my right pocket for my phone pouch, pulled it out and slapped it on the entry gates. it's a muscle memory move, it does not require me to actually think of slapping that pink blob on the reader, my arm just went ahead and my feet lead me through the gates. i'm still floating in my mind, blaming on the different parties that constitudes to this situation i'm in. i appeared calm, like a simple book cover but prepared to fool the readers with the contents. i forgot about the book, went through the sliding doors and sat on the orange melamine. still nodding, i kept the intensity. it's hilarious, yet intoxicating, losing the touch of reality while being famished for fantasy. transcending the rules, deploying my thoughts. no books. i was there exercising my mind. happy, sad. bliss, grief. it stirred in my mind.

my stop reached, i dropped all the thoughts. what a wonderful song i thought, the band will like it.







AH HA! WAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

YAKUZAsour

The YAKUZAsour official blog with crappy layout...

3rd post for the day already...

i'm switching to hibernation mode soon. haha. my mind is like floating and i can't think properly right now. i'm going to skip badminton today and go home right after work. i can't keep up sleeping late and waking up super early, considering that i've got numerous commitments too, which i'm letting go one by one, slowly.

lunch was pretty ok, since it's kway tiao. i love kway tiao. i dunno why. it's just like how paul love mee tai mat. today's menu is tom yam kway teow. amri said that it's not as good as his mom's. i can guess that why just cut up some lemon grass, open a pack of instant tom yam from maggi or something and thn just dump them together in a wok. put in some prawns from their previous big occasion and walah, they sell it for 2 dollars a plate. thank God that there's a subsidy in my lunch in work, if not i'll just head out and cramp with all the other corporate slaves in the food courts and hawker centres. how much do they subsidy? you might wanna ask. ha. i paid 40 dollars for my meal credits. in addition to 40 dollars meal credits, they put in 56 dollars of meal credits, which totalled up to 96 bucks a month. so it's approx 55% subsidy. but, the food here is not food. they are just edible substances that so happen that it does not distract bowel movements while thoroughy makes you think twice whether to puke or to swallow. is it that bad? you might wanna ask also. well, imagine you eat goo. is that disgusting enough? haha. goo... it's corn starch and water. egh. i do not know what did they do to have an attempt to make it brown in colour and call it... gravy.

but of course, there are good stuff amongst the bad ones, like mushroom soup with "lao hong" garlic bread with basil. or something along the lines. yuck!

i'm like dozing off soon. 3 more hours to end of the day. lets go!

talents are not friends...

i always feel that why ppl are attracted to each other because of certain qualities. i'm sure that counts, and it is really playing a very big part in knowing and being with ppl. qualities as in out-going, slient reader, ability to do mountain climbing and loads of other stuff, personality, physical and ability qualities. but sometimes, i feel that there's a certain group of ppl that brought attraction just because they possess the 'in' qualities, i'll pay extra attention on abilities rather thn the other 2 or more which i've not brought up as it didnt come across my mind now.

a natural genius, hardwork and any kind of actions the person does to achieve that quality, i'll alter and label it under talent, for simpler reference, even though it means more to a natural thn hardwork. one thing that i'm conscious now is that, "are my friends being friendly with me just because i have something that they do not have and hope to achieve it by interacting with me while bit by bit leeching what i have, which at times, i may and may not be welling to give?" and of coz, i did this on my self, "am i making friends and being friend with them just because they have something that i do not have and hope to achieve it by interacting with them while bit by bit leeching whay they have, which at times, they may and may not be welling to give?"

well, i do have this kind of cases and i'm feeling pretty guilty. ha. i feel that i really owe thm something, or at least a friendship that is honest and true. well, my bond with them, it's pretty good and all of us did do things that are not related and stuff and i do help some of them out in return.

God give and He needs nothing in return except for our hearts. can i do that? can i give and not take back anything except for being a friend with a person. can i compromise in some way that it makes the other party happy rather thn prowling deep for a win-win situation which technically only make me happy but not the other party? am i ready to serve? am i humbling myself often? these are the questions that i've been thinking after my bubble has been popped by the infamous bubble popper. i'm kinda sad after knowing i've went so far and lost my composure and can only be viewed like a fool. i've got no resolution to do this kind of things anymore, i'll just get a gift and say goodbye. only the YAKUZAsour legacy will stay. maybe the bass lessons. hehe. don't bother to ask me about drums, i won't teach anyone unless i need you to play for me, even though i always choose my instrumentalist and build my own circle. hehe. yeah. 1 more week and the end of poly education for me, i'm going to the university. dad and mom will be very proud to see this big son going to the U.

100TH...

ok, to others it may just be like to mark 3 montsh or so, but to me, it's wow. blog started last year and it's still surviving. ok, it's pretty young compared to xiaxue and her entries does entertain me abit. ha. wow... 100th post. congratulations on posting so much nonsence and you have reached 100th post. for this achievement, you will be rewarded with our precious source of living... air...

ok... there isn't much of celebrating over the 100th post anyway. and i'm very tired, as usual.

the morning went pretty well, manage to sleep for 5 hours, from 1 to 6. for the pass few days, the alarm assisted in my 'crawl out of bed' routine, but well, today, i managed to wake up before the alarm rings and shut it up and go on a short snooze. i bloody woke up before 5.30am feeling very awake.

washup and changed for work, got on the train and shut my eyes...

"bou oto todoroki hanran boppatsu gaishuu bokusatsu sokkoku CHESUTO"

it struck me...

"bou oto todoroki hanran boppatsu gaishuu bokusatsu sokkoku CHESUTO"

i shall leech that feel!

Rich Excrement by The GazettE

i kept running the melody in my mind and imaging how qiangqiang and 'the one who broke my bubble' would sing, crossing vocals and rap verse. chorus? i'll do it differently. Screaming with vocal harmonising backup. you might say, "siao ginna, no point... qiang will just overpower 'the one who broke my bubble'..." you're in for a surprise thn.

so what is the new song about? PIANG! about rape. title is going to be ashtray. went on a search in ultimate guitar and only a band used this title for a song. Screeching Weasel. some punk band. ha. lets own thm! haha. see whose ashtray is better!

i bet qiang is excited. ha. very excited. hahahaha. very very excited. and kinet will wuss out. haha. he will bloody wuss out. "what the hell"...

my eyelids are getting heavier and it's only like 7.52am, that's not even 1/2 hour for the work day. shit.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

sleepy head... ah haha.

i'm very sleepy now. it's only 2pm and i've got like 3 more hours to go before the end of work. i'm really very tired and i hope i can survive through the performance.

lunch was pretty good, ate at jvc and it's a very hot and crowded place. it's crazy hot. and here i am, tired and wanna die.

i was reviewing my rehearsal, i'm not so sure about it either, since one of the person i know of likes her too. he looks better than i do and he speaks chinese. i feel very very jealous not to be able to speak chinese well with some of my friends. surprise you pips with something, i speak chinese at home with my mom, coz i cannot stand her english. ha. yeah, so damn sian, i feel very inferior, not to be able to speak chinese to her, i'm trying very hard and she still reply in english, claiming that she's trying to improve her english. sigh. i'm in a losing battle.

"WHAT!"

hurt...

yet another emo sequel by edmund lim.
i'm hurt. hahaha...
















my fingers hurt. hahahaha.

ok, that's lame.

loving the guitar for so much and having a very very bad habit of biting the callus off my fingertips cause me to pay a pretty hefty price. my left fingertips are gone. OMG! no lah. my left fingertips are pretty painful now. you know how it feels when you bite off the callus? it's like your foot walking on rusty knife edge where your skin is on the verge of splitting and you can feel the little friction on the surface shredding off your baby skin. but you can't stop, that's the thing. you're not doing anything that is very big either, not into the guiness record books for holding on to a damn string at the longest time. it's a sacrifice. you know that kind of sacrifice. the kind that stays on your for quite some time. it's like buying a tiffany & co for your girlfriend with you 1.6k a month, fresh diploma graduate pay, and thn she breaks up with you a week later, that kind of sacrifice. you can't ask for the t&co back, unless you want to throw your pride away and be a loser for your whole life. but it heals, definitely, and you start to go back to your normal life. but it stays on you. that's when you bite the callus off and thn you feel the pain again.

yesterday, i can admit that i did the most sms i have ever done in a day, and also the longest phone call with a girl (only lasted for 20 mins) at night. not much of a casual talk, all of it is like serious stuff, which is very boring. i wanna have more casual talks but maybe ppl take me as a serious person. honestly, i'm not. ask cheryl on how i convince her with the boob thing. ask qiang about how i always talk nonsence and how i direct translate his chinese lyrics while he did it to mine and we laughed. ask kinet how i discuss with him about guitars and other shit. ask jay about my randomness. ask ernest how i laugh at him while he laughs at me. ask zw how i disturb him and kill him. you see. i'm not serious person. haha. oh, and ask maxwell how both of us always talk about guitars and then after that go into something random. want more proof? my good pal yubin. ask him, i'm not a serious person. ha.

i'm going to sleep soon man. and i'm in work. so sian. i'll blog more later whn i'm bored. ha.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

great jam...

things are getting out of hand. everyone is screaming and everyone is going crazy. lalalala. if you make a stupid mistake in the rehearsal, you'll be scolded and shouted at by the other bandmates. that's the funny part about YAKUZAsour. all our laughters are kept in our shouts and it gives the alcoholic dose into our lifes. kinet complaining about arrangement is difficult, zhiwei can't catch the entry for his chorus, qiang's new to the bullet screaming concept that i have been thinking the past weekend, jayson still alittle out of time, cheryl's being screwed by us and we're still trying to influence her the essentials of having breasts in the world and how it makes us happy, and of coz, me screwing them up with more weird and difficult arrangements.

i'm so happy that we manage to at least achieve completion yesterday night, but without ernest, he's damn blur. haha. so next monday we have to thoroughly go through with proper mics and stuff. accompaniments need to be more flexible, yesterday's pretty rigid coz qiang's sticking to the lyrics and cheryl is still low on boobs, lack of confidence or maybe afraid that i will chew her off. bass guitar too dry, need more movements, kenit's guitar is ready. drums pretty much ready, just need to arrange alittle and the part where we have a rest with just vocals coming in. i'm still pretty lost whether to play with kinet or come up with a lead melody. they wanted a solo, so i have to plan for that too.

why has it to be only this year? if we've started last year, we'll be doing better now. but we won't have ernest. screw. nice timing God. nice timing.

Monday, January 21, 2008

i'm in despair

ZETSUBOU DA! 絶望だ!

Definitions of despair on the Web:
- a state in which everything seems wrong and will turn out badly; "they were rescued from despair at the last minute"
- the feeling that everything is wrong and nothing will turn out well
- abandon hope; give up hope; lose heart; "Don't despair--help is on the way!"

wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

arh! tragedy!

i read something sian. i'm down. i dun wanna think about it anymore. someone's better than me. i'll quit everything that i'm related liao. numb man! lalala.

dear wrists...

i'm getting funny reactions with my hands these days. my pinky can jerk by itself and start wriggling, like parkinsons. they call it rest tremours. i couldn't stop them, and that's freaky.

once in a while, her face reappears, i was pretty agitated and i actually planned and rehearsed the scene last night in my brain before sleeping. it goes like, this is super amusing...

"hey, err... i got something to say"

most likely she will go "WHAT!"

"i like you"

that's it, i'll just stop there and stare at her. i guess she'll go, "i know..."

"yeah... sigh..."

probably have some minutes of silence.

"it's impossible rite?"

"yeah... sorry..."

then i'll feel better and just forget about her, and continue life... at least i tried. but that's just rehearsal, what about the real thing?! arh! i'm so shy.

arh, itchy ears. arh.

WAIT! something wrong! the starting will be like

"eh "

"WHAT!"

yeah... i think it's this way. sometimes it's even more amusing...

"eh"

"WHAT!"

hahaha. i'm crazy. but it's amusing. sometimes i just stare at her...

*stare at *

"WHAT!"

it's getting out of hand.

let me try to remember mandy's lyrics...

baby i'm crazy
reaching out for emptiness
holding on to fantacy
i'm missing someone out there

like that rite? i forgot. i dun remember lyrics well.

finding the real me...

just read ziqin's blog, well she's self searching i guess, perhaps facing the 2 decades old dilemma. pretty interested to see someone that desperate to spot her change. i guess people do change and i do admit that i changed alot, ironically, why dun my fats shrink?
anyway, like she'll drop by my blog, i'll drop an encouragement for ppl trying to search for the real you after thinking about the past you. well, optimistically, your current you can be your real you, coz the past you will still be your past you. placing a facade on will do you good in leading back to your past, but it may not do good to the people around you, having known with your present being. the world is packed with stereotypes and i'm sure unconventional habits does paint a person black, especially the conservative mindset (chinese!). say drinking, i love to drink, but i don't drink much coz i don't like to be intoxicated. however, my very dear mama say, "so young learn how to drink liao, next time grow up... blah blah blah (.50 calibre at point blank)...". well, drinking at limited amount = bad? or say toilet hugger = bad? so the current self may not reflect a daddy's little girl or mama's little boy, but i'm sure you can find something that is very unique and attract yourself to explore. i do agree to looking back and reflect, but dun encourage yourself to be stagnant and not improve in your current state. if you're appreciating what you're doing, i'm positive that there's a circle of people you can relate to and someone to support you. just allow them to and put your trust in them. if they screw you up, adjust and change them.
sigh. report report report. i'm dying! i wonder ivy still remembers the cheesecake bet. but i'll treat both of them to a drink bah, so paiseh to let girl treat me. ha. TCC! a very nice place to hang out.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Mandy's 7s

as tagged by Mandy...

7 Random Facts About Me

- dislike being known for being a drummer, guitarist or bassist unless it's for jamming
- counts the hours of sleep i'm getting before sleeping
- black, red, white.
- finishing polytechnic
- wants to go to NUS
- may have parkinsons
- a love hate relationship with music

7 Things That Scare Me

- extremely fat girls
- cockroaches
- getting myopia
- broken bones
- rejection
- broken wrists
- becoming deaf

7 Favourite Music Artistes At The Moment

- The GazettE
- Dave Weckl
- YUI
- Mika Nakamura
- Switchfoot
- Blindside
- Mayday

7 Things I Like Most

- sleeping
- guitar
- jamming
- sushi
- laughing
- a girl
- badminton

7 Lucky People To Do This

- qiang qiang
- zhi wei
- maxwell
- fun
- kenit (go bloody start a blog for the sake of this lah!)
- jayson (REVIVE YOUR OLD BLOG!)
- ivy?