sinking...

my dad went into bed early today. i'm kindof worried now. i've just prayed that he will get better tml. faith ed, faith.
it's freaking me out nowadays, coz my mom dreamt of dad gone. when mom said that, i remain calm on my skin but i was terrified and shaken on the in my guts. i'll pray for my parents once in a while now.
fundamentals of control systems... dun be fooled by it. human reasoning, it sounds friendly and easy. but that's bull shit. it's another module packed with loads of mathematics, not much theories, but alot of mathematics. 1st chapter is ez, but the second is not. chapter 2 is packed full of laplace transform. it's like back to math when you thought you're out of it. Engineering Mathematics 1 & 2 & 3A, and you rest for a sem mathless (thank God i took Advance Engineering Mathematics 1, so i've got alittle mathy within myself). you forgot all your stuff, and, maybe, even forgot your basic integration, and now, you're heading straight into the pit hole of calculus. muahaha....
tml will be a good day. God bless my dad. Amen...

swim... i wanna swim...

sian... i wanna swim. i don't mind public pools. but tired... i'll just sink in the pool... swim!!!

gentle nightmare

i'm not too sure whether i can completely classify this whole post as a nightmare, coz it's more like a future reality to me.
it was this morning. i dreamt that my parents passed away. i was kindof freaked out during the whole dream coz i depend on them alot. i was in a state of lost, depressed. i remembered me not knowing my heading. it was quite bad. however, i met my dad and mom later in the dream, i was relieved by it.
this sparked me in the later morning, before my breakfast. i was thinking, way if my parents were gone, where will i head, who can i depend on later. all these brings relate myself back to God. can i depend on Him? in wat way can i depend on Him? all the bible and such results in my faith? or it's the touch of His hands let me know Him more and want to pursue his righteousness.
i'm caught between the feelings of being glad and confused. it's such that i'm too materialistic. i never venture into spiritual development further. school, influences, sometimes even the church. or it's just me, discouraging myself. i dunno. coz i'm not sure who to look to now.

sick... bah

when i thought my asthma is long gone, it came back again on the second day of malaysia trip. well, as usual, being there kindof sucks. no internet and my relatives kept gambling. i managed to refrain myself from it and played my com with jo instead. no fireworks this year too. only able to see the other houses firing away mini grenades and stuff. jo and i thought of bombing the mosque tower down, kindof cool.

jo: you know a fire cracker to us is nothing but to an ant it's like a C4. we bomb the tower down it's like a firecracker to God.

i'm having bloody breathing difficulties now and i don't have an inhalant to ease it. God, it's up to You man. let Your will be done.

speaking about that, i haven't been in church for the past 3 weeks. *guilty guilty guilty*
1. overslept and having a depression over the murderous mathematics paper.
2. overslept and spend time at home with family.
3. malaysiaing

next week, i'm back on kids duty. i'm not sure of anything man. didnt lead for like months, ever since the switch, i was distant to it, so are the musicians. God, tasukete kudasai!

i shall finish my milo and rest now, gonna go to my unc's place later.

reunion dinner was a blast

vic that pussy kind of backed of the initial plan of going to drink, so left mr foo and i going around the city to look at some stuff for fun. before that, i msged chibi that i'm going, coz bored mah, and yoshi's psp is fun.
everyone is kindof on time man, quite surprised 0_0. went to the same steamboat place by conquering the whole mini van to the team. muahaha, i'm sitting at the entrance! if i dun go out, no one can!
there were fireworks (money wasting) and blown up grill (pwnage) while eating. been quite some time seeing these guys liao. pretty cool.
reached home around 11.20, took a bath while i'm thinking of a new groove. i still can't get aeroplane right, but i need a new groove. now is the time where i am able to play like siao, but! my right index finger is hurting, meaning, cannot pop. sigh...
exams are over... how you pips reading have a great time in the lunar new year! grab as many red packs as possible!!!

dear finger

dear right index finger,
thank you for being a very huge encourager and playing a huge key in bass playing. i'm really blessed by your superb performance and having a good learning proficiency. i feel very glad that you're part of me and i hope you too feel happy that you're part of God's creation in me.
lately i've been missing you. i have a feeling that you are not well and you're not able to play the bass. every attempt for me to 'pop' a string, i felt a teardrop landed on the pickguard. oh! how can this be it? what have i done wrong!
get well soon my precious and let us re-live our blissful moments together.

love,
ed

monday blues

binny came over my place to study today. well, we did study but we're like going around and stuff. watching tv and laughing at some stupid mvs.

----some jap mv that is not nicely syncronised----
ed: that's a budget mv. there's only 2 settings and the vocals are not sync.
binny: *sits on the bench and watches tv* hey, she's an anime song singer. i want one of her songs.
ed: i think the dancers behind her are much prettier than her.
----some jap mv----
ed: that's a budget mv.
binny: being in the same place playing instruments don't mean budget. maybe they are lazy to move.
ed: look, there's no drummer.
both: *laughs*
ed: maybe the drummer is a sessionist. the guitarist looks cool.
----mayday's mv----
ed: wah, they are stars and they get cute girls.
binny: *laughs*

well. monday blues. i've got this feeling that i've grasp everything and my conscience just tells me that i'm not going to do well when i go and study more. well, computer language is a language, so it's like learning english i guess. you can't study all of the english but you need to have a foundation of english.

well... good luck to all you pips taking mpi.

running away from the cops

i think i've got too much of prison break till i'm actually exercising in my dreams. i was with linc and running away from the cops. lol... i managed to climb like 4-5 low walls and when i woke up, my heart is beating pretty fast, just like i've ran a mile or 2. it's pretty cool and the prob is i thought it was real, running and all that. or is it God that's telling me to start running and get skinny. haha.

edmund says:
jumped over 4-5 low walls
·!¦[·sh90·]¦!・[| Ryuuki-Ilaeir-Kei |] says:
you're trying to escape reality! XD;
edmund says:
haha
·!¦[·sh90·]¦!・[| Ryuuki-Ilaeir-Kei |] says:
and have overcome hurdles
edmund says:
if i can escape reality, i think i'm a cabbage by now
·!¦[·sh90·]¦!・[| Ryuuki-Ilaeir-Kei |] says:
if your legs were heavy means you're burdened by responsibilities XD
edmund says:
hope there's pretty girls around me praying for me to be awake
·!¦[·sh90·]¦!・[| Ryuuki-Ilaeir-Kei |] says:
LOL
edmund says:
yeah
edmund says:
should i nap again?!

well... haha... prison break madness and i'm STILL NOT STUDYING! i told myself, "after lunch, you're going to study." instead, i went to sleep and prison break started. haha. i shall finish all my mpi lecture notes today. muahaha. and tml i'll start on dcnt. maybe, i should jio some pips and study with me. coz teaching makes studying more effective, y not teach some mpi and lecch it from there *kekekekeke*...

oh well, after dinner after dinner, study study study...

new converse! yay!

chang chang chang chang! finally, this indecisive boy got his pair of new shoes after visiting the converse shops of vivo, queensway and jurongpoint and made a total trip of 7 times with the approximate in-shop time of 2 hours. woohoo!

i'm pretty happy that i got it and i thought it looks good after the change of laces from complete brown to white. so there is a contrast, i thought. muahaha. got it for 60 bucks and yubin's dad was like, "wah! that's was popular in the 80s and now you're buying it for 60 bucks!" my reply was, "nian qian ren (young person)*points at myself*" haha. i thought my dad will go nuts over me buying this pair of shoes coz it don't worth 60 bucks. i do know that. my lao pek pek instincts told me that. however, i'm still a boy.

so what makes a good shoe (edo's edition):
-looks good on you
-you like before wearing it
-you like while wearing it
-your band members are wearing it
-looks good while wearing your usuals (burms and polo tee!!! ^^)
-simplicity (less is more)

well... haven't been studying so i guess i need to buck up. teck yang came over and that was my 1st time studying. haha. super funny. i taught him like the little things nia, the things that i thought it's pretty simple, thn he told me he learnt alot. haha. dunno y. i guess teaching pips also allows you to understand better too. like all the funny concepts, you will be able to grasps it. cool eh?!

valentine's coming up, i've got no plans yet but i'm certainly finding something to do on a thursday night so that i can beat valentine's blues and coffskipcellsteamboatdinnercoff. well, fat boy finding dates will be quite a tough job, but i dun mind using that day to hang out with good and old buddies too. have beer and let our drunkard brains do the talking. muahaha. so much of beer, i didnt even drink much now.

i think it's time for me to work on lyrics. needa write write and write. muahaha.....

loo loo loo... still no band name...

wanted to get a pair of converse this late morning and went out with mr foo to get it. well, we kindof like stuck in the converse shop for nearly an hour but i cant make a decision. i think i'm worst than an ah soh. mr foo's conclusion, with some edo's english edit, "designers dun design shoes that are on demand, they design for the sake of designing it." well, that's why we're stuck in the converse shop. the denim shoes are very nice, but they have that thread pattern on the side. i like the black shoe, but it's phat lace. i like the skull shoes, but i dun think church allow me to wear that. i like that normal looking shoe, but it looks more like a school shoe. well, the list went on and i'm off empty handed and to school alone.

was going to meet pikachu and justin to study, but they are meeting a tutor. i dun need a tutor for the time being, so i went to the library to study. well, failed. didnt managed to even complete a page. called up sean and wah la, i'm in the scc room learning new stuff on the bass.

i've got this sudden liking towards bass, and this bass thing, i admit, is drawing out alot of time. but who cares. bass rocks. i hope my schedule next year will be better, so i can put more time into avionics club and the band. everything's juicy and the only thing that's lack from me is skill. so must practice practice and practice until the skin on the right index top joint fleshy's skin has thickened. it's kind of irritating coz i cant bite that area. booz.

just need to work on my timing man. after jam, it's back to "so what's our band's name". went through all the words that is able to fit into "morning" and even took out an arty film textbk for some vocabulary assistance. well, failed.

some interesting names:
the wallet; root beer; fried kuay teow; white page morning; mechanical morning; the chair; 4-1; morning darkness; jax"dunno how to spell"position paradox..... and some more i cannot remember

on the way back, there were a few lower sec kids sitting behind me, one of them was kind of funny whn he said, "eh wo yi qian you gen hen duo nu hai zi chu qu leh (i've went out with alot of girls). nu hai zi hor bi jiao hao xiang chu (girls are better to be with)" well, all i can say is that he taken his 1st step already. hahahahaha. the way he put it is super funny. he's trying to convince the other guys that being with girls is good and he's pretty zealous about sharing his experience.

ok, i guess this is too much for you to read. so tata...

search of a band name.

the band was formed like 3 weeks back and still we haven't got a name yet. so difficult to think of one.

anyway, went to school yesterday for an interview to be a committee member in avionics club. got bombarded by meng kiat (current president), especially the "china one just flew by". after that played pool which kind of sucky coz i lost most of the games i play, kind of felt that i've lost my form or degraded. headed down to vivo city, guess wat, with slippers, white polo tee and basketball shorts. ain't it the best attire to roam around vivo? republic food court is a scam, never go there and eat. one plate of nasi lemak with ngoh hiang, some funny pineapple chicken and long beans cost 5.20. mine is not that bad. there's this dude who bought a plate full cost 11.20. haha. i did rather use that cash to savour carl's jr or subway with a 1 footer.

after dinner, 3 of us, ceyao, vic and i, decided to prank the converse shop we went before dinner. coz the pips in there didn't bother to serve us the 1st time so we thought that we could give them a second chance and IF they serve us, i'll buy a pair of shoes (which i needed it lah, some bugger go still my cheapo f10+). well, we wanna see whether they would serve a rugged up person like vic and i am who wore slippers, knee length shorts and polo tee. time limit staying the in shop = 5mins. OBVIOUSLY, they didnt serve us. vic, "ZE YANG FAIL LIAO ARH? (they failed this like that?)" thn we walked off. both mr foo and mr yong said the 2 sales personnels we shocked and walked up to us. haha. super funny. in the end, we didnt buy anything. mr foo also didnt get his A|X.

slept through the morning today. well. bassing from 12 to around 1+. my slap technique is getting better thn the last time. pop well, still need some work. i'm trying out something like the double stroke on the drums, super fun... new grooves comming up!. woohoo...

yay... no more aem 1

well, have you ever thought of suicide? you can try out the new product called advance engineering mathematics part 1. satisfaction guaranteed!!!
well, i kindof got worst thn raped in the morning. sigh...
time to groove man.
"i like pleasure spiked with pain. music is my aeroplane. it's my aeroplane!"

my bass... revived!

i'm so glad to play my bass again. it's back! it's back! i tightened the truss rod and there's no more visible "warppage". but my G string, yup it's called the G string, still can play the 19th fret. worst of all, aeroplane needs the 21st fret, which i dun have. lol.

fun fun fun... bass bass bass... my bro just quarreled with my mom. i was thinking how she was to me in the pass.
present - "edwin, you got do your homework?" bro sleeping.... "edwin ah, you got do your homework?"... (countless times later) "CHAO CHAO CHAO (noisy noisy noisy), WO JAI SUI JIAO LAH! (i'm sleeping lah)"...
past - *ed is sleeping* *suddenly he got a caned out of no where*

so this is how i'm brought up. i don't expect him to be perfect, but he's just nuts. just like teck yang's "iron balls" to replace his long lost balls.