gentle nightmare

i'm not too sure whether i can completely classify this whole post as a nightmare, coz it's more like a future reality to me.
it was this morning. i dreamt that my parents passed away. i was kindof freaked out during the whole dream coz i depend on them alot. i was in a state of lost, depressed. i remembered me not knowing my heading. it was quite bad. however, i met my dad and mom later in the dream, i was relieved by it.
this sparked me in the later morning, before my breakfast. i was thinking, way if my parents were gone, where will i head, who can i depend on later. all these brings relate myself back to God. can i depend on Him? in wat way can i depend on Him? all the bible and such results in my faith? or it's the touch of His hands let me know Him more and want to pursue his righteousness.
i'm caught between the feelings of being glad and confused. it's such that i'm too materialistic. i never venture into spiritual development further. school, influences, sometimes even the church. or it's just me, discouraging myself. i dunno. coz i'm not sure who to look to now.