talents are not friends...

i always feel that why ppl are attracted to each other because of certain qualities. i'm sure that counts, and it is really playing a very big part in knowing and being with ppl. qualities as in out-going, slient reader, ability to do mountain climbing and loads of other stuff, personality, physical and ability qualities. but sometimes, i feel that there's a certain group of ppl that brought attraction just because they possess the 'in' qualities, i'll pay extra attention on abilities rather thn the other 2 or more which i've not brought up as it didnt come across my mind now.

a natural genius, hardwork and any kind of actions the person does to achieve that quality, i'll alter and label it under talent, for simpler reference, even though it means more to a natural thn hardwork. one thing that i'm conscious now is that, "are my friends being friendly with me just because i have something that they do not have and hope to achieve it by interacting with me while bit by bit leeching what i have, which at times, i may and may not be welling to give?" and of coz, i did this on my self, "am i making friends and being friend with them just because they have something that i do not have and hope to achieve it by interacting with them while bit by bit leeching whay they have, which at times, they may and may not be welling to give?"

well, i do have this kind of cases and i'm feeling pretty guilty. ha. i feel that i really owe thm something, or at least a friendship that is honest and true. well, my bond with them, it's pretty good and all of us did do things that are not related and stuff and i do help some of them out in return.

God give and He needs nothing in return except for our hearts. can i do that? can i give and not take back anything except for being a friend with a person. can i compromise in some way that it makes the other party happy rather thn prowling deep for a win-win situation which technically only make me happy but not the other party? am i ready to serve? am i humbling myself often? these are the questions that i've been thinking after my bubble has been popped by the infamous bubble popper. i'm kinda sad after knowing i've went so far and lost my composure and can only be viewed like a fool. i've got no resolution to do this kind of things anymore, i'll just get a gift and say goodbye. only the YAKUZAsour legacy will stay. maybe the bass lessons. hehe. don't bother to ask me about drums, i won't teach anyone unless i need you to play for me, even though i always choose my instrumentalist and build my own circle. hehe. yeah. 1 more week and the end of poly education for me, i'm going to the university. dad and mom will be very proud to see this big son going to the U.